I did a newborn shoot last year for a woman I used to know quite well many years ago. When I arrived on location to photograph her newborn daughter, just days old, I found that not only were Mom and baby at home, big sister had stayed home from school and Grandma and Grandpa were there too. Immediately my mind started to race, thinking of all the scenarios I wanted to capture. I came into the shoot knowing that I’d definitely be photographing baby, I also knew I’d somehow convince Mom to be in at least some of the shots as well. Everyone else was a surprise.
The most common thing I run into is Moms who insist they don’t want to be photographed. I get it, I’ve been there too. You’re tired, you feel you don’t look your best, it’s supposed to be all about the new baby. I also know that I don’t have any professional photographs of myself with my only child when she was an infant. I photographed her with her dad, but no one was there to photograph me. I wish I had that, I really wish I had that to look back on, but I don’t. I don’t want my clients to ever have that feeling that I have and it’s why I’m always pushing Mom to have “just a couple” with baby. I tell them that they don’t have to choose them if they don’t want but at least they’ll be there in the event they change their mind.
So, at this particular shoot, I’d convinced mom to be in some shots and big sister was more than happy to be in as many shots as I wanted. I enquired about Grandma and Grandpa, would they want to be in some as well? They politely declined and I left it at that. I did manage to get Grandma into a few ‘generational’ shots with the girls but nothing with Grandpa. I was a little disappointed but I left it alone. I’m a big second guesser. Would I be able to do the images justice if I did convince them to join the shoot? Did I have enough room, enough light, was my posing up to par for something like that? Mom’s I’m OK with putting a bit of pressure on, same goes with Dad’s but I’ve come across grandparents before who didn’t want to be involved and I always let it go. I often suspect that people think I’m motivated by money when we get into this territory and that perhaps they think that I only want more images to try and push them into purchasing more photographs. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be able to pay the bills like anyone else. I’m not against making money, but it’s not what drives me when I’ve got a camera in my hands.
I want you to look good. I want you to feel good. I want you to look at your images and smile. I want you to seek them out when you are melancholy or nostalgic and I want them to bring you comfort, happiness, and peace, not just for six months, or two years or until they are out of vogue. Always. That is my job, my calling, my gift to you and your gift to yourself when you hire me. A legacy to pass down and share, a story of this moment that is unique and can never be experienced again, except perhaps, through photographs.
This morning when I logged into Facebook, I found out that the Grandpa from that shoot last year had passed away unexpectedly. I found this news particularly distressing and here’s why; I’d failed. I hadn’t known it until this morning, but I’d not done my job to the best of my ability. It’s my job to capture the images that my clients hire me to take, but it’s also my job to capture the ones that they don’t even know they’ll want. It’s my job to look into the future and think about the possibilities that no one else wants to think of and shoot accordingly. When I told a friend about how I was feeling they said that I shouldn’t beat myself up about it, I’d asked and they’d declined. What more did I think I should have done? It’s true, I’m not going to force people into doing something that they don’t want, but, only I can know when I’ve tried my best to convince them, without being pushy or aggressive or rude. It’s also true that every family probably has hundreds and hundreds of snapshots of various family members and this family is likely no different. I’m certain they have plenty of photos of Grandpa and baby over the last twelve months. But, they don’t have
my photos of Grandpa and baby.
I’m not beating myself up about this, I’m learning from it. I’m rethinking what it means to work in a time when I’m repeatedly told that this industry is dying and that anyone with a camera is a photographer. What I’ve realized is that for me it’s about connection and emotion and perspective and capturing those things for people in ways that they don’t even realize are important to them until the moment has passed. That’s what I do and I need to do it to the best of my ability not only for my clients, but for myself too.
I wish I had photos, like the ones above, of myself and my daughter, but I don't. I'm glad to have the photos of her that I do but if I'd stopped to think about it I may have made an effort to have a more well rounded representation of that fleeting time in both our lives